Overcoming Needle Phobia

With the COVID vaccine becoming increasingly important in returning to “normal,” I wanted to take the time to write about a potential elephant in the room: needle phobia. This is my story of overcoming it to get vaccinated and some tips that can help you or someone else overcome it as well.

Ever since I could remember, I had a crippling fear of needles. But, this “fear” was not a normal fear, it was a phobia. Most people say they hate needles or don’t like them. The phobia, however, was irrational and on a whole different level. I was deathly afraid of them, so much so that looking at pictures of syringes resulted in my heart rate increasing and my whole body shaking. One time I grabbed a needle from my doctor and threatened them with it; in order to get my blood drawn when I was at the hospital, I had to be knocked unconscious with sedatives; I’ve avoided getting any vaccines that were not mandatory (flu shot who?) and made a concerted effort to postpone getting my blood drawn (going on 4 years since that hospital visit). With this relationship, one can only imagine the panic that ensued when I discovered that getting a two-dose vaccine would be the only way to return to normal society.

I was avoiding it for a while. I honestly had no intentions of getting the vaccine until a nasal version came out, but my partner stressed how important it was that I get it, citing worry for me contracting the virus and not being able to return to doing things normally. After that, I finally caved within a week. Over that week, I made sure to start reading up on exposure therapy and other means to successfully conquer this phobia.

My exposure therapy started with me looking at pictures of hypodermic needles several times a day, pushing past the physical symptoms of anxiety that I experienced. When my anxiety looking at pictures of needles died down, I then moved on to looking at images of people getting a vaccine and repeated the process. Once comfortable with that, I upgraded to watching videos of vaccinations. (Because I expedited this process, it was only two days between me looking at photos to watching videos. It may take you longer if you have limited motivation to get the vaccine in the first place.)

After becoming desensitized to the videos, I had to move on to experiencing an actual needle. I spoke with my therapist about it, and we had a session where a needle was sitting on the table between us. Then, she gave herself an insulin shot in front of me to increase the exposure. After that session, I made sure I kept the needle within my sight for the rest of the day—on the kitchen table, at my work desk, and on my nightstand. The next day, I sat holding it for a while and took off the safety covering from the physical needle. After trying to focus on work, I found myself browsing vaccination sites for open appointments. Rather than wait longer, I decided it was time to move forward with getting it that day. I signed up for the latest appointment possible just in case I had a panic attack and needed the extra time to adjust.

The hard part was waiting after finally signing up to experience my greatest fear. To pass the time, I took a nap and played a needle phobia hypnosis session to further mentally prepare myself. When the appointment was finally around the corner, I took half of one of my prescribed anxiety pills and drove to pick up my partner so he could be my support person. Despite the sedative, my heart was still pounding and I held on to some of the doom-oriented thoughts. I walked with my partner down the aisles of the supermarket pretending to distract myself from the looming threat.

It’s not going to be that bad. You got this! I was able to console myself quite well with the belief that I had magically changed my phobia in 48 hours. But, when I went up to check in for the appointment, I felt my heart pound even harder than it had before. I sat with the pharmacist pretending to have myself together, that is until he tried to actually give me the vaccine. Each time he raised the needle, I tried to dodge him—making his path unclear. Finally, my partner came to distract me. He held my hand and let me squeeze his as the small prick of the tiny metal object radiated through my arm. And then, it was over.

I didn’t cry or have a panic attack this time! While I still tried to avoid it, I was able to get it done. I actually did it! Nothing can describe the level of joy I felt at that moment. My needle phobia had been the only issue I had not been able to address through my self-growth and transformation. Finally, I conquered it.

The second dose happened. I did it without using my anxiety medication. That may have been a mistake as there was a lot more pulling away from the pharmacist, but again, I got it done.

I know I’m not the only needle-phobic out there who held off on getting the vaccine because it seemed worse than getting the actual illness. While I’m not a psychologist and do not try to be, here is some advice to consider if this is you.

1. Consider incremental exposure therapy

I do not believe I would have been successful if I did not try to slowly expose myself to photos, videos, and conversations about needles. The book I used was the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook—a very valuable resource for anyone trying to go through this on their own.

2. Think about those you care about and who care about you

If it weren’t for my partner's fear and insistence that I get vaccinated, I never would have done it. Realize that your friends and family want to see you in-person and don’t want to risk you contracting COVID-19. Rather than do it for yourself, do it to put them at ease.

3. See a therapist

If you aren’t working with a therapist already, do yourself a favor and find one. This will help you to unpack what lies at the root of your phobia (mine was the fear of a lack of control). While any therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy will work, if you have the means, seek out one who has expertise in exposure therapy and dealing with phobias.

4. Find a support person

Bring a support person with you to your appointment. This can be a friend, family member, therapist, partner, or anyone you trust. Discuss your fear of needles with them so that they know the extent of the issue and some proper ways to help.

5. Remember it only lasts a minute (which is better than 14 days)

I hated hearing this advice/reasoning presented to me when I discussed my phobia with others. It seemed to almost trivialize the fear, however, there is a point to it. When my mother contracted COVID at the beginning of the pandemic, it was horrible to watch her suffer for a full 14 days. Getting the pain of a shot for a minute definitely was better than having to go through that myself. Even the side effects (which I didn’t experience) are better than contracting to full virus.

6. Focus on the benefits

Finally, focus on what getting this vaccine will mean. Once vaccinated, you will be able to see people again without wearing a mask, do the things you haven’t done in over a year, and move past the pandemic in general. While it has been somewhat nice to be a recluse over the year with my introversion, I am definitely over Zoom meetings and virtual concerts.

While this post has been different than my usual ones, I hope it could either help you personally or help you understand a needle-phobic in your life. Please share so more people can get this help. If you haven’t been vaccinated, consider getting it done—especially with all the perks you can get now! I’ll be back in two weeks with another post. If you want me to write about anything or have any questions, please let me know!