The Imposters

Premiered in April 2021

Program note

The Imposters for solo tuba was composed in 2021, inspired by my feelings of imposter syndrome brought on by my sudden visibility during the pandemic. Each movement is inspired by a different one of the five types of imposter syndrome. Typically affecting those with marginalized identities at higher rates, imposter syndrome is feeling as if you are an “imposter” in a space you earned your way into, despite being qualified. In the fear of people realizing that they are an imposter, they invoke the following behaviors to prevent this from happening.

1. The Soloist is the person who tries to do everything on their own believing that asking for help shows weakness.

2. The Expert is the person who needs to know everything, constantly learning to be the expert on an entire subject. They fear that if they don’t know something, they will be “exposed.”

3. The Perfectionist is self-explanatory. This is the person who feels like they need to do everything perfectly or it’s a failure. Any mistake that others catch could mean that they don’t belong. However, the pursuit of perfection is not possible and typically leads to burnout.

4. The Natural Genius is the person who thinks that their talent is due to natural ability rather than practice and hard work. That means that any negative reviews or criticism are a sign of personal flaw rather than a mistake.

5. The Superhero is the person who does everything they can at the highest level they can, frequently carrying too many burdens and stretching themselves too thin.